Will You Regret That Tat? #Shit Cosmo Says

A truly regrettable article, published by Cosmopolitan (US) in their August 2012 issue.
Reposting this from when I wrote it on facebook back in July 2012, because articles like this still make my blood boil.

Worst.  Issue. Ever.

Here is the article.

Usually I don't care about the trivial fluff printed in Cosmo.  I do not take them seriously.  They are so full of shit all the time that it's hilarious.  Very few things get me riled up when the objective is brain candy.

But when they try to approach a topic that concerns young women and their health, identity and safety and EPICALLY FAIL at providing advice for it, I simply could not sleep until I cast my two cents into the void that is their editorial mailbox. 

Here is my letter to the editor.  I didn't make the editorials page (lol), nor did they apologize for the article :P

Hi Cosmo,

I am writing out of concern with your flowchart feature "Will You Regret That Tat?" in the August 2012 issue of Cosmo which made the most appalling conclusion in determining what kind of tattoo would be "least regrettable".  The resulting advice was that if the planned tattoo were a song lyric or quote (some ELSE's words... with deep personal meaning of course!), in black or blue ink, SMALLER than a compact and being tattooed anywhere but the lower back, chest, neck, face or finger... then "GO FOR IT!"

The resulting tattoo that I could imagine makes me cringe- how much text can you fit in 3-4 inches?.  It would be a smooshed, illegible mess in a matter of months.  Terrible, appalling advice from a writer who clearly has no idea what makes a successful tattoo.

ANYONE considering a text tattoo should make DAMN SURE the thing will be legible in 10 years, which means large, easily discernable letters with proper spacing and a bold, attractive font- because you also want it to look good, right?  Ever seen Lady Gaga's upper arm tattoo?  Smaller than a compact my ass.

Obviously, if you aren't willing to make the commitment to the large size- especially with text- DON'T.  WHY would you get a text tattoo only to NOT be able to read it?!

I have taken the liberty of composing my own version of "Will You Regret That Tat?"

DON'T

• if it is flash art*, or directly from the first 5 pages of Google images
• if it is ANYBODY'S name- pet, husband/boyfriend, deceased relative or band/artist.  Wouldn't they be better commemorated with a picture representing them? (I don't necessarily mean portrait)
• if you are getting it to impress/rebel against somebody.
• if you are going to be stingy with the cost.  Pay to get it done right by someone reputable.  If you can't afford it, DON'T.

GO FOR IT

• if you have personally gathered picture reference for it and designed it, or had your tattoo artist design it
• if you are willing to put sunscreen on it constantly every day that it will be exposed to the sun- forever.
•  if it is easily hidden with both casual and conservative business dress.
•  if you are willing to commit to a size that will properly convey the detail that you want- LISTEN TO YOUR TATTOO ARTIST ON THIS ONE.  If they are any good, they will give you a heads up on how it will age. Small (less than 3 inches square) is only good for extremely simple, graphic renderings.  Nervous about your tattoo being seen?  Then why bother with one at all?

A feature which could have been simplified with more practical advice or focused on health and safety in regards to this popular cultural trend turned out to be profoundly disturbing by how ignorantly it was composed, seemingly by the opinions of someone who has never had a tattoo.

... closing greeting to editor, hopefully conveyed with a chilly tone of voice.

/endrant

*I am aware that there is some really incredible flash art by awesome artists out there- if you can wade through everything else. This is still a don't because so much flash art is reproduced without consent or acknowledgement of the artist!

Also.  This is just the basic shit I could come up with WHILE READING THE FEATURE.  Common sense, really. 

EPIC FAIL COSMO.

My personal rule is "go big or go home".  And I learned that from experience.

Anime nerd meet Fashion nerd

High Fashion: Bleach

Evening dress collection inspired by characters from Bleach.
Watercolor, color pencil and ink.

When I went to fashion school I didn't really fit in anywhere.  I loved illustration and actually making clothes: material buying, sewing, handwork, the whole bit.  But I sucked at pattern grading, terminology and complying with industry standards.  Creativity was utterly stifled.  My business classes were a joke.  All that for a ridiculous tuition.

But that year I attended the university's anime club.  For $5 a month you could sit in on weekly 3 hour screenings of fansubbed anime projected on a big screen in one of the auditoriums.   And that's the first time I saw Bleach. (2005)  When the first season's punchy, stylish, kinetic opening set to Asterisk's "Orange Range" hit my ears and eyes, I was hooked.  I promptly went to the nearest bookstore and bought the first 4 volumes of manga (luckily for me, manga sections in big book stores were beginning to explode at around that time).  I went back for more each week until I was caught up.
That was also the same year I got into Death Note.  Other big names come and go but none of them quite hit all the notes for me like Bleach does, especially when clothing is used within the story to express concepts, character development and ideas.

Eight years later, Bleach still inspires me when fashion doesn't.

memento mori

My mortality tattoo design.  Time flies, beauty is fleeting, etc etc.  There is so much personal symbolism and meaning embedded into this design that when I look at it I get that super-hyper-anxious feeling that I need it tattooed NOW NOW NOW.

I admire the hell out of sugar skull-painted girl tattoos but was never sure if they would suit me, or if I was badass enough to rock one.  But then I realized: why the hell not?!
My only regret with my current tattoos is that I did not go bigger and better.  So I might as well start somewhere.

Wondered briefly if I would regret having Rukia tattooed on me, but my husband brought up a good point: "You will never stop loving anime".  It's true :)
And outside of a Bleach reference, people will see a tattoo of fierce, short-haired asian woman with sugar skull makeup, on a fierce, short-haired asian woman.
That's not going to change :)

Will hopefully have this on my right thigh by the end of the year.  Biggest tattoo yet.

Chigo & Ruki Ruki

I am particularly proud of how this came out.  And I got to draw a hookah.

Alternate universe!  This couple is canon wherever they may be.
Didn't you love how they would make entire filler episodes based on Kubo's color spread art or pencil doodles?  :P

This again...

Just a reminder that I ship IchiRuki... in sexual ways.
Self-indulgent nekkid drawings result.

Not-quite-SFW behind the cut

Live Action Hetalia

Here is my Hollywood actor wish list for a hypothetical Hetalia live action movie.  International actors FTW~!

Jeezus- it makes me groan when I see other people do this shit but here I am- fandom makes you do crazy things.  Also was an excuse to look up images of cute men.

Axis Powers

Germany: Michael Fassbender

So quintessentially Doitsu there is simply no other contender.  We already know what he looks like in WWII uniform thanks to Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds.

Japan: Yusuke Iseya
Maybe a bit too uniquely featured and bad-ass imaged to be straightlaced and soft-spoken Japan.
But I do love him so.

Italy/Veneziano: Jason Biggs
It is hella difficult to find native-born Italian actors
(in the age and cutest factor that I was going for)
So had to settle with some of obvious Italian descent.
Biggs has great comedic acting chops.  It's my list, so there.  

Italy/Romano: Milo Ventimiglia
I can see it- can't you?
Arguing with Veneziano, dissing Germany, being a dick to Spain.  Adorable.

Allied Forces

America: Chris Evans
THE INTERNET AGREES. A MUST-HAVE.
He is pretty much the reason I made this list.  Let's face it- Hollywood has chosen him to represent 'Murica  

Britain/United Kingdom: Andrew Garfield
Because eyebrows, that's why.

Russia: Anton Yelchin
I love this guy sofuckingmuch.  Dreamy Russian-speaking voice?  Check!  Innocent appearance?  Check!
Acting prowness to demonstrate mild and friendly demeanor yet provoke alarming unease towards the insidious creeping terror that is Russia?
Check check.

France: Vincent Cassel
Another one a little outside of the age range but wow!  The stubble!  The eyes!  The thoroughly convincing perverted characters that he has portrayed!  (Dirty, dirty France)

China: Jay Chou
Not Chinese, but Taiwanese.  You will find a surprising number of Taiwanese in Hollywood playing Chinese and Japanese characters.  Don't know why, but I'm all for it.

Canada: Ryan Gosling
Special bonus nationality i.e: my own.
I'm not really a fan.  But girls seem to love him and I am okay with Canada having a dreamboat image.  Cute glasses, dude.

Newest Obsession: Hetalia

left: Russia looking hella creepy

right: the adorable Axis Powers

keep in mind these are straight up pen sketches in my pocket agenda

Just when I thought that I could not possibly get into any more anime, along comes Hetalia: Axis Powers on Canadian Netflix.  Comedic genius on so many different levels.
I've listened to both the japanese voices and the english dub by now and I honestly love the english dub.  The atrocious accents just add to the borderline racist parody aspect, the voice actors did a great job in keeping up with the rapid fire dialogue and even though people apparently complain that the language is harsher and the humor is more vulgar I totally prefer it that way, even with the overuse of the word 'douche'.
But I love shows like Archer and Metalocalypse so I find it funny as hell.